GREEN PORNO, LIVE ON STAGE
Cutler Majestic Theater
Boston, MA
February 13,14, and 15
Last night Ms. Hen went to see Isabella Rossellini in a
presentation of her Sundance Channel show Green Porno. Ms. Hen is a fan of Ms.
Rossellini, but she had no idea what to expect from the show. She learned
beforehand that it was about the sex lives of animals, and she thought it would
be videos of animals mating. She was wrong.
The videos were not of animals mating, but of Ms. Rossellini
acting out the scenes, which Ms. Hen found hysterical. One of the best films was
the actress dressed as a female duck and the male ducks all jumped on her to
have sex with her. But the female duck has eight passageways that the semen
could get it and she only allowed her favorite male duck to fertilize her eggs.
In the film about dolphins, Ms. Rossellini appears as an
underwater diver. She said that with dolphins anything goes. They can even have
blow-hole sex, whitch shocked Ms. Hen, because she had never heard of such a
thing. Ms. Hen thinks that dolphins seem like innocent creatures, but she was
wrong.
Ms. Rossellini talked about sex with birds and Ms. Hen knows
about this. Male birds and roosters don’t have external penises, so they have
to shoot for the female’s vagina and hope they make the mark. Hens make eggs and
don’t need roosters, but in order to make a fertilized egg, they need do need
the males.
Ms. Rossellini was funny and charming and was passionate
about the subject of sex. She is very European in her candor. She used a lot of
props and she kept throwing them all over the stage: tomatoes, stuffed animals,
paper and flowers.
One of the interesting points that she made was that she
wondered how Noah could put two of every animal on his ark, when some animals
don’t have males of the species, some are hermaphrodites, and some are homosexual. A hilarious
film was shown that showed a hand pointing down and asking each species that
was not male or female to find the other one. Ms. Hen was sure that Ms. Rossellini
knows that Noah’s Ark is just a story. She was just having fun with the notion.
Ms. Hen goes to the theater often enough, but this was a
different type of show. It was just one person, Isabella Rossellini performing,
and it was about science and animals. Ms. Hen wished chickens appeared in the
play, but there was a point when Ms. Rossellini said that cows and cats were
boring. Ms. Hen doesn’t think chickens are boring and hopes Ms. Rossellini
doesn’t think so either. Hens are intelligent animals, smart enough to know
when a show dazzles or not. And this one did.
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